A lawyer is driving a car down the street and instead of stopping at the stop sign, the lawyer slows down. A policeman sees this and pulls the car over and asks the man why he didn't stop at the stop sign.

"It's the same thing," the lawyer stated, "I don't believe there is a difference between stop and slow down."

"Allow me to prove it to you," the policeman said. He asks the lawyer to step out of his car and suddenly starts hitting him with his baton.

After a lot of pain that the lawyer endured, the policeman asked him, "Now do you want me to stop, or slow down?"

Bill Gates and the president of General Motors were having lunch. Gates boasted of the innovations his company had made. "If GM had kept up with technology the way Microsoft has, we'd all be driving $25 cars that get 1,000 m.p.g." "I suppose that's true," the GM exec agreed. "But would you really want your car to crash twice a day?"

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it's tearable.

Chuck Norris invented a language that incorporates karate and roundhouse kicks. So next time Chuck Norris is kicking your ass, don?t be offended or hurt, he may be just trying to tell you he likes your hat.

As an engineer in an upscale hotel, I was asked to repair or replace the television in a guest room. When I arrived, the couple was watching a picture one-third the size of the screen. I knew all our spare sets were in use, so I figured what the heck: I struck the side of the TV with the heel of my hand. The picture returned to full size. "Look, honey," said the wife to her husband. "He went to the same repair school as you."